A wedding is one of life’s great moments, a time for good wishes, feasting and joy. St John tells us how Jesus shared in such an occasion, and gave there a sign of new beginnings.
Marriage is intended by God to be a creative relationship – God’s blessing enables husband and wife to love and support each other in good times and bad. For Christians, marriage is also an invitation to share life together in the spirit of Jesus Christ. It is based upon a solemn, public and life-long covenant between a man and a woman, made and celebrated in the presence of God and before a priest and congregation.
The couple has prepared the service of their choice, assisted by the priest. On this their wedding day they face each other, make their promises with clear understanding, and receive the Church’s blessing.
You, the congregation, are witnesses of the marriage, and express your support by your presence and your prayers. Your part is written in bold type.
‘Love is patient and kind. Love never comes to an end.’
A New Zealand Prayer Book, p. 779
Pre-Marriage Course
If you stretch before sport, practice a presentation before a launch, or check your vehicle before a long trip, you might also want to prepare for the biggest commitment of your life…
At St Andrew’s we recommend – but do not insist on – a pre-marriage course. We use material from Prepare/Enrich. There is a $50 fee associated with the initial survey and report, but no charge for sessions thereafter.
Prepare/Enrich
Overview
Prepare/Enrich is a widely used, research-backed premarital and marital counseling program that combines an online assessment with facilitated feedback sessions to help couples identify strengths, address growth areas, and build skills like communication and conflict resolution. Over 3 million couples have participated since 1980, with studies showing it reduces divorce risk by about 30-31% for premarital users.
Content
The program typically involves 6-9 sessions (50-60 minutes each) led by a trained facilitator, starting with an online assessment (about 30 minutes) covering topics like communication, finances, intimacy, roles, parenting, leisure, spirituality, personality, stress, and conflict. A customized report guides discussions, exercises, and homework.
Typical Sessions
Sessions vary by facilitator and couple needs but often follow this outline:
- Session 1: Assessment Review – Explore overall strengths, styles (e.g., devitalized, harmonious), and high/low areas from the report.
- Sessions 2-3: Communication & Conflict – Practice listening skills, the 10-Step Conflict Resolution Model, and emotional regulation.
- Sessions 4-5: Practical Topics – Discuss finances, roles/responsibilities, intimacy/sexuality, leisure, and family/friends.
- Sessions 6-7: Personal & Spiritual – Cover personality (SCOPE profile), stress profiles, spiritual beliefs, commitment, and family-of-origin influences.
- Sessions 8-9: Goals & Future – Set couple/family goals, budgeting/parenting plans, and maintenance strategies; optional follow-up.
Marriage Liturgies
A New Zealand Prayer Book contains three marriage liturgies (or ‘forms’). One of these will form the foundation of the words shared in your wedding.
You can review them all online.
First Form
This traditional liturgy closely mirrors classic Book of Common Prayer vows. Couples promise to love, comfort, honor, and keep each other “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health… to love and to cherish until we are parted by death,” emphasizing lifelong fidelity and mutual support.
Second Form
A more poetic and relational option focuses on companionship and shared journey. Vows include “All that I have I offer you; what you have to give I gladly receive; wherever you go I will go. You are my love,” highlighting mutual offering and divine faithfulness.
Third Form
The most customizable, with a choice of texts in parallel columns for sections like welcome, declarations, and prayers. Vows stress resilience, such as “Will you stand by [spouse] no matter what happens, respecting [them] as a person… until death parts you?” or “Whatever life may bring I will love and care for you always,” prioritizing equality and endurance.
Wedding Rehearsal
The wedding rehearsal normally takes place a night or two before the wedding day. It is run-through of the whole service attended by all essential parties: bride, groom, bridesmaid(s), groomsmen, readers, photographers, etc.
Marriage Licence
This must be obtained from the Registrar of Marriages and delivered to the Parish Office at least ten days before the wedding. Note that the Registrar takes three working days to prepare a licence which is then valid for three months. Without the licence we are not permitted by law to celebrate any marriage.
Follow the steps online and select “Personalised Ceremony.”
St Andrew's Anglican Church, Cambridge, Waikato, New Zealand 